Tip: Lose Those Lazy Modifiers
Lazy modifiers are so-named because rather than express something in a refreshing way, the writer lazily tacks on a bankrupt adjective or adverb to do the work he or she didn’t bother to. In the futile hope it might bite. In truth, it makes your messaging worse.
Examples:
BUSINESS BLATHER: “The service was quite slow.” “The villagers were really poor.” “The weather was very harsh.”
Adverbs like “quite,” “really,” and “very” are lame tag-alongs. They suggest you lack faith the adjective they modify will do its job; or doubt your listener will get the extent of what you’re saying. So you tack on a trite enhancer for insurance.
This actually can weaken your statement because it emasculates perfectly good descriptors that evolved primarily because they’re powerful in themselves (rich, poor, difficult, easy, soft, hard, dirty, clean, kind, mean, fast, slow).
This may be a leap of faith, but reverting to simple, unvarnished assertions often packs more punch than using embellished ones:
BETTER: “The service was slow.” “The villagers were poor.” “The weather was harsh.”
See the power in that? In most cases, the bare adjective wields more than enough clout to make your point.
Of course, there are situations when something stronger is preferred. In those cases, ditch the “really,” the “very” and the “quite” and get creative. Try an analogy, a little wit or even sarcasm to drive home your message:
BETTER: “We had faster service at a snail convention.”
Another example of a lazy modifier:
BUSINESS BLATHER: “Our sales increased a whopping 30%.”
There’s a tendency in business writing to spin a statement even before the audience has a chance to digest it. 30% is 30%. It could be great. Meh. Or ugly.
But it insults one’s intelligence, and comes off more as opinion than fact, to jump in front of a number and presell it.
More credible, make the direct statement, then offer factual support for it:
BETTER: “Our sales increased 30%, exceeding all estimates.”
The following statement is indicative of the dozens of wild, unsubstantiated claims we’re exposed to daily, making nonbelievers of us all:
BUSINESS BLATHER: “We serve the tastiest donuts on the planet!”
Says who? By setting the bar at impossible heights, you’re only setting your customers up for a letdown.
Yes, you may snare one-time purchasers, but even if the donuts are better than the guy’s across town, people will likely be disappointed and resent your gulling them into buying one.
If you’re going to rely on hyperbole, frame it in a way that’s obvious in its overstatement, playful enough that customers will be amused by your farcical claim:
BETTER: “Donuts so delicious, you’ll never oversleep again.”
See? And it didn’t need a bang (!) at the end.
TIP: Whatever you’re reading, get into the habit of noting what words, sentences or passages strike paydirt with you, win a point, cause you to think “exactly!” Save those snippets to guide and inspire you to craft similar arguments and structures in your own writing. Conversely, note what has zero effect on you. Ask yourself why, then do your best to avoid such anemic expression.
Tired modifiers are ripe for the trash heap. Say things in imaginative ways. Surprise your audience. Coin new phrases. It’s okay!
-----------------------
© 2024 Jerry McTigue
Jerry McTigue is an award-winning advertising copywriter, has written for major city newspapers and national magazines, is the author of seven books and a member of the American Society of Journalists & Authors (ASJA).